No goats were harmed in the making of this joke!

A ventriloquist cowboy took a walk in the country and saw Mr Lederhosen sitting on his porch with his chickens.

Cowboy: "Hey, cool chickens. Mind if I speak to him?"
Mr Lederhosen: "These chickens don't talk!" Cowboy: "Hey chickens, how's it goin'?"
Chickens: "Doin' all right."
Mr Lederhosen: (Look of extreme shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at Mr Lederhosen) Chickens: "Yep." Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Chickens: "Real good. He feeds us twice a day, Lets us go for nice long walks, and cleans out the hutch." Mr Lederhosen: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your duck?" Mr Lederhosen: "Ducks don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey Duck, how's it goin'?" Duck: "Cool." Mr Lederhosen: (An even wilder look of shock) Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at Mr Lederhosen) Duck: "Yep." Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Duck: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He feeds me regularly, gave me a swimming pool, and keeps me in the shed at night to protect me from foxes."
Mr Lederhosen: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your goat?"

Mr Lederhosen: (Gesticulating wildly and hardly able to talk)......"That Goat ain't nothin' but a liar!!

TGIM - No Rain!

What a weekend!

There were loads of sea canoeists here - but even though it was a 'Storm Gathering' I think the wind and rain was a bit much. This is Mits checking out one of the kayaks.

Tried out a few surfing moves - but even though I have the hair for it, need to work on the balance. Will post the photos later.

Dennis is getting settled in - he likes his paddling pool and will move to the deep end when he gets his new mates.

Mucky Duck

Heidi and Mr Lederhausen brought us a new mate!

Here's Dennis.

I think its wonderfull all these new friends that I keep getting I love it. I went over to see dennis earlier but I dont think he was very keen on me, he snarled a little bit, but its ok as with everyone I know he will have to come round to my amazing good looks soon.

Dennis had to have a little bit of a bath today, you see how dirty he got, playing in thay dirty puddle, not long now dennis, and we will set you free on that lovely big pond dennis!!

Storm Gathering

It hasn't stoppped raining all day.

There are gales in Wales

Thanks to all the guys asking about Freddy - he's fine and recovering well thanks to Snowie's nuturing (not neutering).

Heidi and Mr Lederhausen have gone on mercy mission.

More later.

from Arthur.

Cold, wet and having a very bad hair day.

Good Morning

I have got up really early today so that I can wish my mate Freddy good luck at the vets.

Spare a thought for Freddy - he's gone to be neutered! Still on the positive side at least they won't try and eat HIS parts. When I was done they did me and me and all my mates. The farmer told Francois, the French farm hand working with us to keep all the parts as they ate them fried up - said they were delicious. Anyway one day Francois went missing. Apparently when he asked what was for dinner and they told him it was French Fries, he ran like hell.

I know it can be quite scary but just chill and you'll be fine.

Good Luck Freddy!!

Friend in Peril

Great news about the rescue of my brother
goat.
I know this blog is good, but that was a crazy stunt to pull just to get press attention!
Check out http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7677338.stm for the full story.

Cheers for now
Arthur (descended from the Pendragons)

Saturday 18th October

Today was amazing, Nearly all afternoon I was allowed to roam around the site all by myself, it was brilliant. I never knew what possibilities there were for me out there, such a range of bushes and shrubs to nibble on.
It was a bit scary at times though, so I decided that the safest plan was to stay very close to my good friend Mr lederhausen! I knew that he would protect me so I never really left his side unless I found something really interesting to eat.

The next big thing of my day was the arrival of my new home, you should see it! It is En Suite, Open plan, with good views. I tell you it is something special, you would pay a fortune for something like this on the open market. Unfortunately it is not for sale as it was custom designed for me. Photos of my new home will be available soon! For viewing puropses only, please remember I am taking No offers (Less than a million).

Trip to the beach

Well, well, I know I am a handsome bloke but I had no idea how many heads I could turn.

I went for a little wander down the beach today and everyone was gawping at me, I think i'll give up strictly come dancing and go for Britains next top model instead.

It was ace down the beach, look at me in the photos checking out the water. I was a little confused though - just couldn't quite work out what I was meant to do with all that wet stuff. So in the end I decided I would just stand and stare at it for a little while.

I was so tired when I got back I went straight to sleep under my tree. Can't wait till next time.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Night Night

Paddlers Return

Today I went into The Paddlers Return Bar, and ordered a beer.

The bartender, amazed that I can actually talk, gave me a beer.

I said, "What do I owe you?"

The bartender stopped and thought for a moment, "Even though this goat is smart,he probably hasn't been in many bars."

So he said, "That'll be ten pounds."

I handed over the money and started drinking his beer.

After a few minutes, the bartender couldn’t restrain his curiosity, he walked back over to me and tried to strike up a conversation.

"You know, we don't get many goats in this bar."

I replied, "Well, at ten pounds a beer, I'm not surprised."

Practising for strictly come dancing!

Look at me go, I can Hip and Hop, I really am such a cool goat. I like to call this little move the hokey chokey, only to be attempted by true professionals or people and goats who are as trendy as I am.

I had a little move today, went to some very lucious bramble bushes. They are sweet and crunchy, they help to fill me up with energy for all the dancing. You can catch me on BBC1 this Saturday at 7pm to vote for me please just become one of my followers thorough this website.

As you can see the audience is growing quickly and I would like to send my love to my biggest fan Lottie. Please write to me soon.

Saturday 11th October

What a beautiful day, the sun was out and I had plenty of chances for some excellent sun bathing on the grass. I like to lie on my back so that I can get a nice tan on my belly too, also it makes me look really funny, so people laugh at me.

This photo is my new mate Lottie -

I had these lovely young people from cheshire buddies come and see me today, they were great they all stood and has their photo taken with me and soem of them even fed me some yummy polos. I hope that they all have a safe journey home tomorrow and that they want to come back and see me some time.

This morning was fun, that dog from down the road came back to see me, I think he knows who is boss now. He just hides behinds the mans legs, what a chicken! No offence meant to be Boris, Doris and Roxy.

At least its not as windy tonight I can settle down on the grass for a nice long sleep, its been a bit rough for the last few days. I can cope though I always have my food to rely on, I know it will never let me down!

Just a quick shout to all my followers, thanks for looking at my blog, remember to tell all your friends and recommend the blog to others. I am hoping to have one hundred followers by christmas, I am sure we can do it.

Bye for now

Rain, Lawnmowers and troughs...

The weather has taken a turn for the worst and winter is definately on its way. The leaves are falling and the vegetation isn't as tasty as it was.
You'll never guess what happened today! This man came wih a tractor type thing and cut away all my grass, my yummy grass, so I have been in a bad mood all day, Just ignoring people and generally minding my own business.

A nice thing happened today - I got a new trough to eat all my food out of and it stops all those foxes pinching my food during the night. Thanks Mr Lederhosen.

Fingers crossed fo a sunnier day tommorrow.....

Cow bells and tables...

Wow, how fashionable am I. I have the coolest accessory around time, its amazing. Its a bronze, genuine austrian cow bell. I just look the bees knees, I would like to thank the kind lady who gave it to me.

Well its been a while now since I first moved here and I would like to say hello to Kate and her Dad, even though I really love it here I do think about them quite alot. I hope they are both ok and that they are welcome to come and see me whenever they want.

Today I was also moved to a new location on top of the hill, its brilliant all day I have been standing on top of my table looking down on all that is mine. I can see everything, the mountains and the sea, its brilliant.

I hope that all the kids that came to see me at the weekend are ok, Doncaster Scouts and the birthday party girls.

I think I have a treat lined up for later, so I will report more of todays later.

My weekends adventures!!

Sorry for the lack of information but I have been having such a good time I haven't made it into the office for a while.

Well let me start with last friday, it was like christmas. This lady came and she gave me loads of presents, I got a new spirally thing that means I am allowed to go anywhere I want now, because they just move with me around all the time. Then I got this really yummy salt block which I stand and nibble underneath my tree. After that they brought me this yellow stuff, turns out its called hay! What a wonderful thing that is, its crunchy and tasty and delicous. All the people that came to stay here over the weekend brought me some, it was the best time ever.

On Saturday I spent most of my day up a hill. I was playing hide and seek but everyone got a bit worried so I decided to pop out and surprise them all. It was very funny! I like my hill it means that I can sit and watch what everybody gets up to. Some people are very silly, I saw some people putting on wetsuits on going towards the sea. They must be mad, it was so cold on Saturday, you wouldnt find me anywhere near the sea never mind putting on neoprene, i dont think it would be very flattering around my belly!

Sunday was great, the sun came out, there was a lot more food involved, and something amazing happened! I thought I was just going for a normal sunday afternoon walk, we went for a wander by the pond ate quite a few yummy bramble bushes , and then all of a sudden my chain was released and I was free. Free to roam and run wherever I wanted to go, it was bliss. I made everyone laugh by the way I waddle when I run. I thought I would show my dissapointment at this and run around alot and make lots of strange noises, it did the trick as they brought me some more food. Brilliant!!

Well got to go, but dont worry more adventures are sure to follow.......

Wednesday 1st October

What an action packed day...
I have reason to believe that a new shelter is being made for me, by the way I seemed to be being sized up this morning, tape measures and bits of string everywhere. Its quite exciting I hope they dont miss the plasma screen and futon that I need.

Next came the visit from the locals next door, they were very kind and brought me some more fruit. I now have what can only be described as a mountain of fruit and vegetables, I am willing to share if the chickens, cats or dogs would like to come and try some.

Then later on today I went for a walk, it was brilliant, but my little legs don't let me go very far. However sometimes I am just lazy and like to go very slow so I can nibble all of the foliage on the way round. Then I went to the top of the hill and sat on a picnic bench, it was very naughty but the only way I was going to get any crackers off the person that was walking me. She was not going to give me any so I had to result to brute force and a cute smile.

After my ridiculously long walk I was feeling a bit peckish so I went to my mountain of food, and stuck a piece of carrot in my mouth. It looked like I was sticking my tongue!

Well fingeres crossed for the new shelter, its all very exciting....