Christmas is on its way!

I know something is happening because to day I got all measured up, I think there might be presents on the way. Is Santa Claus coming early!

Its been a bit chilly lately, but its ok beacuse I am getting that much food that I have a nice layer of fat round my middle to keep me warm .

Everyday now I got moved somewhere different its great because I get lets of yummy things to eat, and its nice to have a change of view from time to time.

The duck is being a bit boring lately -I just don't seem to be able to get him away from those chickens, so much for him being my friend!

Well I will keep you updated on the present I am sure it is going to be an early present, Yeah.

Just Quackers

Its been a bit miserable latley so I decided to go far a bite to eat with my mate Dennis, we had a few drinks and then the jokes started to roll. I have to say after some of them I have lost a lot of respect for that Duck!! Here are some of the best (or worst) have a read and let me know what you think:

What does a duck get after he eats?

A bil

What do you call a cat that swallows a duck?

A duck-filled-fatty-pus


Why did the duck cross the park?

To get to the other slide

What time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

Why don't you ever bring a duck with you into the bathroom?

Because it might be "a Pekin"!!

Last One.......


Two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. "I know what we're doing wrong," said the first one. "What's that then?" asked the second. "We're not throwing the dogs high enough!"

I'm sorry....
Dont worry there will be chicken jokes to follow, because I am going for dinner with them tonight

byeee

Getting an early start

After all that rain yesterday I needed something to warm my cockles, so I popped into reception where I found just the person.

After a few glasses of the merlot, I am ready to face another day. I have to admit though I had some difficulties, finding my way home, and my legs just wouldnt stop wobbling!

Rescued by the emergency services

I cant believe how much it has been raining! That duck has been living it up all day, swan-ning around like the bees knees. He hasnt stop quacking all day, splashing all day I cant see the big deal all over a bit of rain.

Alas, dont fear a brave man in a yellow coat came to rescue me, me and my poor hoofs! He brought me what can only be described as a paradise island in the middle of all the muddy, sloppy, sinking grass. I like to think of it is a my own little hula hula island, all I need now is a palm tree and a cocktail, oh and a little less rain.

I hope that duck is jealous, when he has to go back to boring semi-detached, and I'll be partying all night in tropical bliss!

Aloha

Goat Joke of the week!!!!

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.

He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.

The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound.

He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound.

He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?"

The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."